Melon Cupcakes

patsumii @ 2008-10-08T19:42:00

2008-10-08T23:43:26Z

im full of shit. really.

I never had this desire to die so strongly before.

More sushi and New Clothes :D

2008-10-05T18:25:19Z

Last frriday, my dad wanted to make me moreee sushi. And so I did. BUT THEY DIDN'T FINISH IT AND THERE' STILL SOME LEFT OVER IN THE FRIDGE D:

The big mooommmmmmmmmaaaaaa.

A bit of a close-up.

THen later, I made riceballs out of the rice leftovers. The bigger on is at the back of the cute, half a circle one LOL. Of course I ate the bigger one and gave the other to my brother xDDDDD;;; He wants me to make this for lunch tomorrow XDD

Here they are again~~ Wow, now I have the urge to make some right now >_>;

My dad bought this again :'D He likes it alot.

Now on to the new clothes I got at the same day too (friday night). My stepmom asked me if I wanted to go to the mall and I was hving a hard time but I went anyway LOL :D. Here's what I manged to buy:

After a while, takinng pictures out in the livingroom wasn't a good idea. So I went to the bathroom for the light LOL D:

Welcome to my bathroom LOL D:

Okay: the sweater is $40.00, and I liked it because it has that cool collar thingy :D :D :D

The shirt inside has a collar too, and large buttons that hug the hips. that one's $30.00

Can you see thecollar??? LOL D:

*POUT*

'
*Happy????* This was a bit blurry.

My : | face.

*on the bed* Upside down shot :D

Uhh-- This was hard. I didn't know how to take a picture of my new pants ahahah D: $65

OKAY, OKAY MY PANTS AREN'T CLEAR. T___T They're Slate colored skinny jeans D:

Why am I not doing my HW T__T/

...

2008-10-05T00:42:56Z

...
I really hate my depression.
It's not me, yet
It's affecting people I love.
I hate it......
I can't stop it....

I don't like thinking this way-- Anyday.
I just want to stop thinking already.................

=_=

2008-10-05T00:36:04Z

Man. I should've went to that damn party.

Annotations.... ANNOTATIONS!?

2008-10-03T02:20:50Z

You expect me to have 10 working bibliography, alphabetically, with credibility, AND WITH FRIGGIN ANNOTATIONS!?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME
DID YOU REALLY THINK I HAD TIME TO DO ALL THESE. PIECES.OF.CRAP.
LADY, I'VE BEEN SICK. YOU GIVE ME THAT LOOK AS IF I WAS SUPPOSE TO TURN IN RIGHT ON THE DATE. WHEN I JUST. RETURNED FROM THE HOSPITAL.

SERIOUSLY. *OVERTURNS THE TABLE*

AS IF I FELT OKAY, BEFORE I WAS HOSPITALIZED.
HAHAHAHAH THATS FUNNY. I WISH.
IT'S FUNNY THAT I WAS HOSPITALIZED BEFORE SCHOOL TOO.

CRAZY WOMAN.

*EDIT*
WELL YA KNOW WHAT,. I CAN ONLY GIVE YOU 5. SO HA. *PRINTS*

NINTENDO DSi

2008-10-02T23:51:39Z

It feels strange to say that... I'M GLAD I'M NOT A DS USER... Yet.
I feel so fortunate that I, a person who doesn't own a DS, haven't given into the pressure of owning a gift-from-god DS-- Oh wait, it's the WIi :D

I watched the news today, and they said that the new NINTENDO DSi will be released in japan November 1st *Q* KHOA, PREORDER FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEE.

I love friendship

2008-10-02T20:14:06Z

Today was awsome!!! Except for the fact I had to get up-- But other than that, today was a greattttttttttttt(er) dayyy
Because I got to bond more with my friends TwT;;;;It felt nice!

My friend nick named B was late in my Argumentation class today, and I was glad she was okay because she had this horrible allergic reaction (whom god knows what), and had to go to the hospital so she missed school yesterday.... And the chance to taste my awsomeful sushi DDDD:

But she was back today, I was so happyyyyy! She had a new schedule, and I looked at it-- And it said that she has Piano 3rd period of next semester. I knew that I had American studies that hour, but she said she'll change it to 2nd hour (our Argumentation class, which only lasts for a semester,) so we can go to the same Piano class togetttttttttttherrrrrrrrrrrr xDDDDDDDDdd;; I was so happy happyyy! I told her that I would make her cheesecake this weekend as her recovery gift ;w;

Next hour, which is my American Studies class, we had to ansdwer our study guides from the book-- my other friend Lea, didn't have hers so I offered to share mine. We talked as we did the study guide, and i felt closer to her than ever xDDDD;;;

During lunch, I was being pointed at with one of those... Red light dot thingies... You know, in TV the CIA would use it to the perpetrator... To target them? Well these stupid freshmen, thought it was funnyt and cool to point at at me. So I was getting angry. Before I stood up, B's older brother, which I forgot the name of (SORRY B OTL), knew the situation and asked if he can go 'talk' to the freshmen for me. I said sure, but I really wanted to get up and pour my water bottle at them, but I know I'd get introuble D:. In the end he didn't need to, because the freshmen stopped. LOL D: It was still nice though. He's really nice ;D;

;___; I'm so touched todayyy.... I'm going make them all cheesecakes.

Two-faced

2008-10-01T20:53:05Z

So my American Studies teacher told me that "This is taking too long, you need to catch up," With 'the look'-- Wide, sharp eyes. And I felt angry. She was the one who suggested I go for the 504 plan. She suggested my to go to my counselor. She said that she wasn't mad and it was okay. I thought she UNDERSTOOD me. Better than all my other teachers. I liked her, and I didn't feel pressured, I felt assured.

But that was past tense. It might just be because she's stressed and overwhelmed, and that she has alot of kids to worry about. However, that didn't stop me from being upset. She's been doing that since I arrived from the hospital.

I had a biography due today. And I didn't turn one in because I was absent... I only managed to turn in the topic essay I had to do for the term paper,. I wasn't allowed to work on homework at the hospital. I was having a hard time. And you expect me to finish that when you know that I'm having problems. I have ALOT to make up, please understand that.

Situation: Today in my A.S. class, my teacher told me to catch up, because I'm taking too long. I am feeling angry

Advantages to the anger: 20%
-I am able to express my feelings
-Will kick the notch to avoid conflict with the teacher.
-Pinch me, I'm human.

Disadvantages to the anger: 80%
-Will have impression to the teacher
-Generalizing the teacher without much for evidence
-Fear of the teacher, even hatred
-Will slow me down.

I'm going to visit my counselor tomorrow to discuss the issue. I told my dad about it, and he said that she wasn't allowed to do that.
I just hope these angry feelings will soon be forgotten once I'm all catched up. And I hope next time she will treat me with respect and understanding.

In the meantime, I stole this quiz from Kurot: www.4degreez.com/misc/seven_deadly_sins.html
And here's what I got:

Well, I am power-hungry, according to Hime unfortunately, and I do have lots of pride. Lots of it. But where's my self confidence???

My first sushi making...!!!

2008-09-30T23:45:03Z

I finally made sushi today~~~~~~~
After 2 days wait, because of hospital and homework delay, I was excited on the way home.
It's california roolllllllll, and my family said it tasted goooddddd . Even my grandmother, who didn't like sushi, ate alot ^///////^
On to the sushi!!!!
Firstly, we went to a asian grocery store named Tsai....

From left to right: Milk tea (that was finished in two days), riceball mixes, rice vinegar, and SAPARO japanese imported beer ;'D

This is what my brother bought. It was sooo good, but one of them had nothing inside-- And it was still sealed. My brother said it was a ripp-off xDDDDDdd;;;

So we munched on them. Except I only ate three pieces, and my brother gave me half of his blueberry airhead LOL CHEAP.

20 minutes later, this is what was left.

My sushi kit that was worth $10.00 xDDDDDDDd

These are the extras :D tosted sesame seeds, ginger, and wasabaaayyyyyyyyyyyy

First, I made the rice. I was a little unsure about the amount of water. In the end, I did put more water than I needed, but it was fine. The purple thing you see is a cold, damp towel I had to put on top to cool the rice.

Then the vegetables: Avocado, cucumber, and crab meat. This is a california roll, anyway. My grandmother cut the stuff up for me since I'm not allowed to :D

While she was cutting, I prepared the bamboo mat and the Nori~
It was very difficult to place the rice on the Nori, and to roll the thing up-- My hands were sticky LOL ;_____;;;;;

And here they are! My first self-made sushiiiiiiiiiiiii, I was so happyyyy

Here's the second batch. It didn't look as neat as the first, but the first batch was kidnapped by my stepmom so she could eat them at work xDDDDDdd;;

After that batch, I had to make 8 more LOL. 3 batches are for my lunch tomorrow and the other 5 were eaten by the rest of the family. I had no more Nori left to make up for the left over avocado, crab meat, and cuumber D:
My hands are sticky, my tummy full-- Not out of shushi, but out of lasagna and a breadstick LOL D:

Okay, time to do homework T___T__TT_T_TT___TTT_T_T;;;

My load of homework and misc..

2008-09-28T23:51:24Z

So the day went like this...... I woke up, watched my brother play Zelda again...

This turtle is named buster. He's 6 years old, too. He's worn out and has multiple personalities.... |||_|||||;;

These guys have been with us for 6 years. We bought them at K-mart. My brother was going to get another butterfly, but I stopped him in the nick of time and suggested the turtle XDDDDddd;;; He was like... 7... years old?

Good morning, wacommmmm~~

I cleaned the bathroom this morning. Halfway, my dad gave me these surgical gloves LOL :D I madfe my brother take a picture.

Helllooooooooooo, make-up homework time.............

That's alot of pages already. Most of them require to take notes from the book, lots of it. ;_____;

This is my OTHER homework. A folderful of it..

This is what's inside of it. Those are 20 pages for every ONE packet. And I have 13 of them.

This is the lenght view. T___T It's so disgustingly fatttttttttttt

SO MUCH. *EXPLODE*

COST-BENEFIT ANALYSIS-1

2008-09-28T02:17:34Z

(Just something i've learned during my days in the hospital, how to handle bad situations and what-not.)

Situation: I've been working on this vic-mon inspired peice, with a doodle-like lines. What's so special about this is.. It's the hardest pose and human quantity I've yet to have so far. I don't usually lineart peices, so this is another reason to be upset. I was planning to make this peice my greatest one yet, but OC froze and that was the end of it.

Advantages to be upset: 60%
-Feeling the loss of a rpoud piece might encourage me to do better
-Remind myself to make copies of important PSD's
-Maybe start on homework
-It's okay to feel a little upset, since I have been happy all day.
-Feel a little releif-- The pressure of having to finish the piece.
-To start anew.

Disadvantages to be upset: 40%
-Cripple self-confidence
-Feeling of loss
-Automative negative thoughts
-Feelings of self-hatred

My desk and misc...

2008-09-27T22:59:28Z

Annndddd we start the pictures taking thingyyyy. My therapist said that it's good to post pictures and tell some little story about them... Soon when I start making sushi, I'll be posting those on the eat_my_bento community and here too xDDD

Just trying to create something pleasurable ~~~~~!

This is my dessssk :O Yes, that also means where I draw... You can kinda see where my tablet is in the far left corner. Let's see... There the phone top right... Printer under it... Which is eating my school agenda.
Wacom being squished by my heavy math book, a graphing calculator and my cellphone....
ANd if you;re wondering that bottle next to my mouse-- It's the bottle of hand sanitizer xDDDD;;;;

Math.... Homework......................
Oh, that's mel's kechain as my cellphone strap... I DON'T KNOW WHERE HIBARI IS T___T;;;

I use alot of post its' to remind me of things. I put them in the bottom of the computer monitor because I'm on this thing almost everyday ;D;. The first note is my perscrition medication information and pharmacy number LOL. Then the other is a reminder for the new Jigoku Shoujo Mistuganae... Test and term paper due dates....And the last one is my psychiatrist and therapist appointments.

Close-up of the printer.... And the piano scores of Kids Return *D* someday, I'll be able to play it!!!!

My school bag. It's starting to die, though, due to my 20-pound books.
And my butterfly throw pillow behind it-- I've had it for... 6 years ;w; <333

My brother, playing Twilight princess with Puno, my Wii-- I'll have to remember to take a picture of it next time. Oh, and that's my Nemo throw pillowwwww xDDDD
There's a trophy next to nemo.. That's my pom/cheerleading trophy which my half-brother likes to play with alot LOL..

My dad entering the room and saying "Dinner time~~!!!" LOL T_____T;;;;

THE closet. With my other game stuff at the top.

Ummm... I tied my hair up a couple of hours ago... Even thoguh my hair's kinda short....

I closed my eyes D:

I was reading something, my brother took this one. You can tell since it's a bit blurry D:

".... Why won't they shrink"...

This was a month and a half ago.. I'm sitting on my brother while my half-brother dumps water on him LOLLLLL

The zebra he's sitting on, is his favorite toy. He spins so fast and so long.... I swear he'd be content spinning on that thing all day. Guess what flag he's holding??? :D

My half-brother climbing on my brother.

I managed to take this..... SOOOO CUTEEEEEE~ I love my brothers ;w; <3333

THAT'S MY UNFINISHED SAND CASTLE, looks pro already, right? =D

On the other note, I have allottt of HW to make up T___________T;;;;

I SHOULD POST HERE MORE...?

2008-09-27T20:57:50Z

You know,
I really
really
really
really
want a camera-- OH! I'll just kidnap daddy's.

I just feel like photographing my non existant belongings.

Posting Later~~~~.

....

2008-09-06T19:44:27Z

Somehow inspired by Kai, I'm proud that she seems to analyze herself now. Good job, Kai :)
I'm not very good at making long entries, incase you havent noticed...........

Okay.

HI, I'm Patsu.

Who am I exactly,? I was always scared, becasuse I can't seem to read myself. I'm not sure what I say through my words are really what I feel. Sometimes I feel like I'm lying to myself., about many things. Sometimes I think my mind Is lying to me directly. It's so frustrating to think this way, especially when I'm having pschiatric problems. Am I really lying to myself? I can't admit that I'nm just one of those lowly people on this earht, hypocrital, judgemental, narrow-minded, and selfish. I really do admit I'm all of those. I want to feel good about myself, so instead, I lie as a solution-- Not that it is. I can't show this face-- I wnat to be DIFFERENT. Not like those typical....... Followers. I really wnat to be a LEADER, not a follower.

I wnat to know myself. I want to know what I'm thinking. I want to see how I'll do when I just be myself. I want to set goals for myself.

I hate cleaning, studying, going to school, being a nurse, doinng homework, stupid people, I hate dressing up, I hate putting on makeup, I hate smiling, I hate my classes.................FAKE.
FAKE.
FAKE
FAKE
FAKE

FAKE FEELINGS, FAKE WORDS, FAKE GOALS.

I AM
A
FAKE.

I HATE PRETENDING......
I'M NOT PATSU
I NEVER WAS.........................

I don't know who I am.

My happpyyyyyyy List ;w;

2008-08-14T00:21:54Z

My sister told me to wirite down all the happy things in my life, so when I'm down, I'll just read the list :D

1.Kai
2. CANDYyy
3. My brother
4. My House
5. Hime, Hiku
6. Judy
7. Chai
8. All my other MSN friends
9. AX T_T
10. MIEKI'S MOM OMG
11. CALPICO
12. Kombuuu
13. Kyamoi
14. My grades
15. My sister
16. Understanding father
17. My IRL friends
18. My Wii/gamecube/Xbox 360
19. My COMPUTER OH GOD.
20. BRAWL OH GOD
21. Kurot
22. Agasang
23. Asuka111
24. RedJuice999
25. Sasunaru
26. Manga
27. Shoujo Manga
28. JPN culture
29. Gackt
30. JOE HISAISHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIi
31. Kids Return
32. dA
33. OneManga.com
34. JIGOKU SHOUJO
35. HARUHI SUZUMIYA
26. LUCKY STAR
27. OURAN
28. Doujinshis
29. Yaoi/BL
30. 6918, 10069, 10018, D18, 1827, D27
31. JPN pros
32. FOOD
33. Movies
34. Stepmom
25. Stepbrother he's so cuteeeeeeeee
26. Teea
27. Barns and Nobles/Borders
28. VOCALOID2
29. My tablet
30. Olympics
31. Badmintton
32. Tennis
33. My bed
34. My cellphone
35. MSN
36. Chocolates
37. Twilight Princess
38. Airplane Luxury
39. Art
40. Being able to draw
41. KMT+
42. My AP classes
43. SUPERCELL's songs
44. Internet
45. Bikes
46. The support of my family and friends

It's so little... T_T; I'm more upset that I have so little...

CAMPING YEAR 5!!!!

2008-07-30T21:27:19Z

Wahhhh it's here~
5th year summer camping with my family and parent's friends!
I can't wait to eat grilled food/swim/canoeing/jet-skiing/water rafttttttingggggggg and all other water related activities.

I don't fancy water/swimming, but I do love the JET-SKI ahahahaha
(I just want the food, though.)

So I'll be gone tomorrow, and I'll be back on the 5th of august xDDDD;;;
lalalalla so gidddddyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

----

About my last entry-- Sorry if I freaked you out xDDDDDDd;;;;;;;;;;;
But I'm getting myself fixed, next thrusday, wish me luck on that :)

So far, talking on MSN and speed painting seems to help xDDD;;
Actually, I don't know if my Blackrock Shooter speed paint will be done today because I'm suppose to pack-up right now xDDDD;; It's almost done but wahhh ;~; I guess it'll be done after camping...

See you all in 5 days v v v v w~

So...

2008-07-28T02:08:24Z

I'm here at Michigan now-- I used to live b ack at Illinois, but just for the school year. But I guess this time I'm really moving in with my dad here at michigan xDDD;;;; things have changed greatly since June. They were all pretty bad changes xDDDDDDDDDDddddd;;;; It's a bit hard to cope with ;-;

It's hard to explain but apparently I'm... Sick. You can decide for yourself on what it really means xD
In my opinion it's the worst kind of sickness-- It's eating me alive!!! xD

So I try to distract myself as much as possible, and if anyone wana help, please do ;_; I'll play games or fangirl or anything-- I Just can't play RO xDD!!!!

Someone save me!!!

On the side note, camping in 4 days-- I can't wait.
Till then, I'm trying my best.
v v v v v~~~ Wish me luck!

vista

2008-07-25T16:46:16Z

how to log in LJ after you've had vista parental controls... -____-;;
I can't log-in into my account xDDDDDdd;;; except the post-right-away-button-but-doesn't-leave-me-logged-in-in-the-end....

So I can't edit entried, view locked entries from friends, or even visit the communities i'm in.. ANd other stuff that you can do once you're logged in.

D: D: D:

ALTORR

2008-07-08T14:54:54Z

MY SON IN ALTOR IS TOO HOT... TOOOOOOOOOOOO HOT....
...I feel really sick now so I wont post pictures now... ORZ
*COLLAPSES* xDDDDDDDDdddd;;;

.......

2008-06-27T00:47:25Z

500+ prints, 7 days, 95$, 2 table cloths, 2 displays, 2 people, 1 goal.

AX

I'm so tired, I wana cry.

DOUJIN SCANLATING!!!

2008-06-18T08:07:23Z

I found a new loveeeee

DOUJIN SCANLATING!!!

It's so. much. FUN!!!

I know I can't translate japanese or any other language other than the filipino dailouges, (which is useless because in the philippines, EVERYONE knows english -__-; It's required.)
But cleaning, editing and inserting text is so much fun-- And it feels important because I provide something people can't read into something they can!!! XD

My first scanlation! WIth my friend mome of course ^^ =D:

http://www.sendspace.com/file/ny7u24

Crappppppppp T_T;;;

2008-06-17T08:05:05Z

So I was searching for cheaper but sturdy tabloid paper, and I stumbled across the Office Max website.
I went to their print services and went to 'Express Printing'......
I was trying to find information about their tabloid paper and how much it was but...

I accidentaly ordered 288 copies of this:

I WAS JUST TRYING TO FIND OUT THE PRICES, BUT NO, IT JUST HAD TO SAY "ORDER SUBMITTED"
I feel so scared T_T;
I guess I'll call them tomorrow early to cancel it immediately............
I feel still feel scared.....

.... I'm not done with Nell yet... Her hair is hard to render xDDDDDdddd;;;;;;;
Oh dear, 6 more days.
6 more days left to make 2 more prints, redo grimmjow, refine some prints, edit, and adjust all my pictures.

...................... I am so screwed..

KOKO NI IRU YO!

2008-06-16T22:23:19Z

SUMINO-SAN IS SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~~~

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDddd;;;
Adorable! Adorable!!!!
xDDDD;;; omg I'm spazzinnngggg

~~I didn't find my braclett yet, though...~~

...

2008-06-16T04:33:25Z

Sometimes I wonder why I'm trying so hard......
I mean, what's the point if you're trying alone??? xDDDDdddddddddd;;;

T_T;

2008-06-15T08:25:58Z

I am sooooooo scolding myself!
I didn't start a new picture today! I was too busy reading Shoujo again~~~ v v v
But I did finish (almost T_T;) 2 CGs--Which is probably why I slacked off right after!!! xDDDDDddd

I am up late because my mom yelled at me again for not finishing the laundry, so I wanted to show her I could finish it before I sleep-- Only the whites are left now!!!

So I gathered my prints all together and apparently I have 10 prints!!!! xDDDDd;;;; I thought I was scarce on them!
7 Bookmarks, and 9 11x17 Prints (actually, it's really 6, I rejected some unpopular fanart because I'm a masochist like that xDDDDDd)

Ummmmm...
1 Lucky Star (konata) x8
1 Jigoku shoujo (Ai) x3
1 Original (GOT LOLI?) x5
7 BLEACH (Hollow, Ichigo, Rukia, Byakuran, Azien, Grimmjow, and Ulquiorra.) I need to do Rukia, Azien, and Byakuran!!! And re-do Grimmjow!!! x10 each xDDDd;; crapppppp
2 VOCALOID (Miku, Rin and Ren XDD) x8 each xDDDDDdd

I NEED 120 PRINTS?????
Should I lower...
The quantity...........
I thought that I already lowered the print quantity...............
It's so low already..................
(Bookmarks included!)
*HEARTATTACKS!!!!*

Ahhhhhhhhhh I'm having a hard time choosing the quantity of the prints T________T;;; I don't want to sell badly like last time!!! I don't know how popular my prints are going to be this time, but I gotta keep them low T_T; Just incase (or maybe my self confidence is in the way...)
If I sell out (I wish!!!) and there's no printing store near then I'm deadddddddd T_T;;;
I have to remind myself that I have to look that up...